Letting Go

If you had asked me two years ago about the strength of my relationship with Christ, I would have said strong and growing.  What I failed to really understand at that time was that my relationship with Christ was conditional.  Let me explain.

I had my “after retirement” life well planned out, so I thought.  My wife and I had invested our time and effort in becoming certified Christian Life Coaches prior December 2022, when I would retire from my secular job.  We would market and network our new business.  We did not want to create a new full-time business, but one we could manage our time and be able to make a positive impact in the lives of others, especially married couples.  It seemed like a great plan.  After spending time as Stephen Ministers and working with our church’s marriage ministry for the past 12 years, we felt called to use that experience to serve others through coaching.

What we did not plan on was a major health crisis.  You see, only four months into my retirement, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma.  It was a huge surprise and completely unexpected.  So much so, that when Linda rushed me to the ER, we had no idea what the problem might be.  She only knew I was near collapse, and I knew I was foggy-headed and extremely fatigued.

After being transferred to a larger hospital, Linda was told the reason for my confusion and fatigue was due to an extremely high blood calcium level.  What in the world would cause that?  Multiple Myeloma was the initial diagnosis that was confirmed soon enough. 

I was unaware of anything around me for three or four days.  During that time, I am told that due to the blood calcium levels, my body was basically beginning to shut down.  My liver was showing signs of failure, my blood oxygen level was critically low, my heart was not working the way it should.  Linda was afraid she was going to lose me.  It was during this time that had an encounter with Jesus.

Before you think me crazy, hear me out.  Although I was completely unaware of things going on around me and remember nothing else during those days, I distinctly heard a voice that I knew was that of Jesus.  Don’t ask me how I knew, I just knew.

He told me he would be walking with me through this entire ordeal, and he would see me through it.  However, he needed one thing from me.  That was complete surrender.  When I heard those words, I immediately knew what he meant.  He meant that little bit of control over my life that I so desperately held onto.  It became so evident that the thought that I had any real control at all was a lie.  So, I – from the depth of my sole, gave it all to Jesus at that moment.

From that moment to this day, I had and have a sense of inner peace that I cannot describe. 

I have no way to verify the timing, but I remember after that experience, I became more fully awake in that hospital room.  From that time forward, my body began to respond to treatment, and I was able to leave the hospital and begin my journey of chemotherapy and eventually a stem cell transplant before the year was over.    Coincidence?  No way!

I believe miracles happen every day and we miss them.  And I believe when we can find it within ourselves to completely surrender to Jesus, a peace that surpasses understanding really can be experienced.

Believe me, giving all control to Him is a daily effort, and I wrestle with taking some control back very often.  But when I seek that special peace, I can feel myself releasing that control again and feeling that special peace.    Have you felt it?

You can.  If you haven’t asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, that is the first step.   Allowing Him to be your Savior also means releasing that control of your life.  Yes, that is a huge step, but if you can truly find a way to just let go, you will find a peace that is unlike anything you have ever experienced.  I know, and so can you.

Thanks for allowing me to share my story with you.

Linda and I are Christian Life Coaches and would welcome the chance to coach you in your marriage or as an individual – helping to strengthen relationships and/or reach your goals.  You can check us out at www.LKRChristianLifeCoaching.com.